3 Realizations I Made from Being Abroad for Two Months

It's the halfway point... the middle ground. It's the break between the crashing waves and the transition from one cycle of being to another.

It's been two months since I first arrived in Italy. From the moment I stepped foot in this country, I knew this experience would change my life. Below you'll find the three most significant realizations I made from being abroad for two months.

Hele mai! It's just getting started!

1. I'm not ready to go back to Clarmeont in the Fall.

I made a final decision to take a leave of absence this coming Fall 2016 semester.

Being abroad has taught me many things. Chiefly it's made me much more self-aware about my identity and my need to grow as a person. I am in a place and time of my life where growth is essential for building character, confidence, and self-love. I am slowly learning how to do that. Unfortunately, last semester in Claremont wasn't the easiest time for me. With all the commotion surrounding Students of Color at the 5C's, I found myself taking an extremely active role in the movement. I may have overworked myself and failed to take care of my cultural, spiritual, emotional, and mental health.

Low-and-behold, an opportunity to re-center myself arose two weeks ago. I was offered a 7-month internship with a land management and ecosystem services company on Oʻahu. This internship will undoubtedly open up a HUGE network of connections to the growing "Green" jobs sector in Hawaiʻi. I am taking a leap of faith and I decided to commit to completing the internship throughout the summer and fall. I'll be sure to write more about that experience in the future!

In reality, the internship is an awesome opportunity. But I also have to recognize that it will allow me to re-center myself on a cultural, spiritual, and emotional level. I'll be home for a longer period of time surrounded by loved ones that I have missed dearly over the years.

To my Claremont family: I look forward to staying in touch throughout the summer and fall. I'll see you folks in the Spring of 2017 for my final semester!

To my Hawaiʻi ʻohana: I am coming home!

2. Traveling is the best way to grow up and get cultured.

I now have a fierce desire to travel the World. Since my last update I have traveled to Milan, Florence, Bergamo, and Cinque Terre. You can see the photos I took of all those places here on my Facebook album! Here's some preview pics for ya:

Santa Maria Nascente - Milano

Posing for the gods in Piazzale Michaelangelo - Florence

Phenomenal view of Bergamo from Citta Alta

Monarello view with le mie amiche - Cinque Terre

As I prepare to travel to London, Paris, and Berlin for spring break (which I will feature on my next blog), I need to acknowledge my cultural limitations as a traveller.

I understand that what I see in a specific place is just the tip of the "Cultural Iceberg." Coming from Hawaiʻi, this Iceberg is extremely apparent to many kanaka maoli who get frustrated with the millions of passing tourists our Islands see every day. I must admit there is SO much more to a place than what I can actually see. As I prepare for my own travels, I must recognize my limits, and acknowledge the importance of what I cannot see.

Check out this cool illustration that shows what I mean:

3. My happiness is highly dependent on the Sun...or Vitamin D, rather...

Da Tuscan sunshine.

To be completely honest, I went through a short two-week period of moderate depression and anxiety. I was feeling negative emotions for no apparent reason, and I had no idea what was wrong with me. At first I thought it was just a phase, but luckily my host mom is a psychologist, and my good friends and family noticed that I wasn't acting normally.

It turns out I was suffering from a Vitamin-D deficiency. Vitamin-D supports hormonal patterns in the body that have a lot to do with regulating the stress-hormone, Cortisol, in the body by keeping it at a healthy level. Apparently the biggest source of Vitamin-D comes from sunlight, which Italy doesn't have much of in the winter months.

I know right? My biggest problem WOULD be from a lack of Sunlight...

I asked my program director if she could take me to the pharmacy to get me some vitamin-D supplements. You'll be happy to know that after 15 days, I feel SO MUCH better. I am much more level-headed, positive, and ready for the rest of this journey! My experience just goes to show that if you need help...ASK for it!


Thank you all again for reading. I will keep you all updated on my spring break travels!

"Don't worry...be happy!"

Live with Love,

Kepa <3

HAPPINESS & LONELINESS: A Choice between two States of Being

Ciao a tutti,

Mahalo for coming back to check out Kepa Aloha! I am extremely grateful for all your support!

If you didn't get a chance to read my last post about the 8 things I experienced in my first month in Italy, go check um out here!

I have no recent updates about my life in Italy at the moment. The only thing that's really preoccupying my mind is an inner conflict. The components? HAPPINESS and LONELINESS.

Now before I go on, you all should know that I am not the kind of person who will use any form of social media, including this blog, to air-out my dirty emotional laundry for the whole world to see. That ain't cute.

However, I do hope that what I have to share with you today - my awesome family, friends, and teachers - is worth your time and attention. This blog explores the choice we have between two states of being. 

Happiness vs. Loneliness. Which one will YOU choose?

No one said this journey would be easy...

Study on Happiness

The other day I found this TED talk by Robert Waldinger entitled, What Makes A Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness. It shows the results of a 75-year-old study about what it takes to live a long, healthy, and happy life. Apparently it all comes down to just one, simple thing. 

Watch the video to find out before reading on!

...

So there you have it. Happiness is directly related to GOOD RELATIONSHIPS.

Grateful to have a good relationsihp wit my craazzy family <3

The Reality of Loneliness in my Post-high school Life

As the video stated, LONELINESS is the antithesis of your Happiness, and yes, it is not always easy to combat. It's even harder if you're like me and you haven't been able to breath in one place for more than a few months since you graduated high school.

• 2.5 - years since I graduated from high school 
• 12 - flights taken between Calfornia & Hawaiʻi
• 4 - flights taken between Chicago & Honolulu
• 1 - flight from Hawaiʻi to Italy
• Time spent in Hawaiʻi: approx. 8 months
• Time spent in California: approx. 20 months
• Time spent in Chicago: 2 months
• Scheduled stay in Italy: 4 months

Now don't get me wrong, I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful, blessed, and excited to have traveled to so many places in such a short period of time. But the reality of the matter is that I sometimes feel disoriented. Unlike many people, I didn't grow up traveling to different places for long time periods. Travel is a very recent endeavor that I chose to pursue after high school for my own personal growth.

I grew up as an ʻohā pili wale - a young taro plant that attached itself to an older corm, and her name was HAWAIʻI. There is no doubt in my mind that my heart, my home, and where I see myself growing old will always be Hawaiʻi.

However, when you mix homesickness with isolation, you often get their offspring = loneliness. And unfortunately study abroad has this mixture.

Mahalo au iā Hawaiʻi no kuʻu ola hauʻoli

On the other hand, I know it's totally possible to be alone while studying abroad and not actually feel lonely, but when it comes to being physically, culturally, and linguistically isolated, all while being in a foreign country- those bouts of loneliness tend to creep up on you without fair warning. I am not ashamed to admit that I feel lonely sometimes. It's completely normal.

Just take a deep breath...everything will be okay

There is both a Happy Ending and a Happy NOW

With all that said, lately I've been making an effort to lean more into the good relationships I have in real life. I'm keeping up with my studies, but I've also been spending time with the people on my program, exploring new things every day, watching movies with my host family, and I've been spending quality time with my new italian friends.

I have faith that there will be a happy ending to all these lonely emotions, but what I need to work on is taking advantage of happiness in the PRESENT. In spite of all the challenges right now.

I want to leave you all with a series of photos of SOME of the relationships that I cherish...primarily my family. These show not only the people I love and adore, but apparently they help me live longer!

Kuʻu Kupuna - I miei Nonni - My Grandparents

Kuʻu mākua - I miei genitori - My Parents

Kuʻu mau kaikuahine - Le mie sorelle - My sisters

Kuʻu keiki hanauna - Il mio nipote - My nephew!

KUʻU IPO! - DA LOVAH

Live with Love,

Kepa <3


P.S. Happy Birthday shoutout to my Aunty Kuuipo! Love and miss you Aunty!!

8 things I experienced in my first month in Italy

I know...I can't believe it either.

It's been an entire MONTH since I first arrived in Italia!

Dove ha fatto il tempo?? Where did the time go?? 

This blog post is dedicated to eight of the most significant things I experienced in my first month of my study abroad.

Andiamo! Let's Go!

1. I fell in love with my host family!

"MAKE FAMILY," says my amazing older sister, Pili.

And I have indeed made a family here in Italia.

It's not the quantity that matters...it is truly the quality, and I feel extremely blessed with the quality of the two members in my Italian host family (la mia famiglia ospitante di italiana)! A month ago, when I first arrived at the Parma train station, my host mom Manuela greeted me straight off the platform and brought me downstairs where my host dad Nicola was waiting in the car to drive me to my new Italian home. They live in a quaint apartment close to Parma's city center. 

Nicola is an accountant from Toscana and Manuela is both a book illustrator and a psychologist for children. Even though it's just the two of them, at this very moment that I am typing, I can hear them cheerfully joking with one another with their laughter filling the whole apartment. Their presence, positivity, and happiness are more than enough to make me feel comfortable and safe in this foreign country. 

Altogether, there's only three of us, but we make a pretty awesome trio. 

Me and my host parents!

Also, Nicola and Manuela have successfully hosted several study abroad students in the past, but they told me I'm their favorite, of course. (Sorry Enrique :P)

2. It's been confirmed: Food is no joke in Italy.

As soon as I arrived in her home, the first question my host mom asked me was if I wanted to eat something. After 26 hours of traveling from Honolulu to Parma, I of course said yes! The first meal I ate? PASTA! With sautéed kale and grated parmesan cheese! It was a very appropriate cheese for the city of Parmesans.

Maneula's homemade pasta, Semifreddo desert,
Antipasto (seafood platter), & Tortino di zucca (pumpkin dish)

When it comes to food, Italians knows how to eat. Italy is proud of its food culture, and rightfully so. I find that the value placed on mealtimes, the presentation of the dishes, and the overall quality of Italian food is much higher than that of the United States.

For the most part, I eat all of my meals at home with my host family. We normally share every meal together because meals are not only seen as important aspects in the Italian culture, but it's also essential for my education abroad. Sometimes I feel like I'm learning more Italian language by sitting at the table eating with my host family than I am sitting in the classroom!

3. I watched a real Opera performance!

Unfortunately the photos and videos that I took in the opera house mysteriously disappeared (probably because I shouldn't have been taking them in the first place, whoops)! I have no idea what happened to them, but here's a picture of the exquisite interior of the building located right in the middle of Parma!

Teatro Regio di Parma

4. I took an Italian language exam in a barbershop...

And I passed! After four weeks of being in Italy, it was not only time for me to get a new haircut, but it was also time for me to test my language skills. After showing the barbiere (barber) some photos and using some basic phrases in the Italian language here are the results:

Before → After

Not gonna lie, I was pretty proud of myself. And I feel much more confident in both my hair and my language capabilities! (Speaking of language, if you haven't read it, I wrote an entire blog about the topic of language here!)

5. Venezia happened...

Yes, I went to Venezia last weekend.

No, I WASN'T READY FOR IT!!

Now, I've been to some pretty famous cities before: Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Chicago, New York, and of course Honolulu.

But the truth of the matter is that growing up I never would've imagined that one day I would travel to Venice. It's a city built upon over 100 different islands, and there is no other city that comes close to its history, architecture, and reputation.

My very first sight of Venice straight off da train!

We traveled through Venezia's narrow alleys

...and sailed through its wide canals!

Me and my awesome study group with 
the historical Palazzo Ducale in the backdrop

I admired the Basilica di San Marco!

I could go on for days talking about how wonderful and awesome Venice was. But since I wasn't even ready for it, I think I need to give myself more time to reflect on it. I also have faith that it won't be the last time I visit this city...

I was wrong. Hawai'i isn't the only place that doesn't require a photo filter.

6. Italian Art ain't nothin' to mess with.

Although I haven't pursued traditional artistic techniques like painting, drawing, or material modeling, I can feel myself gaining a growing appreciation for art in all its forms. Feast your eyes on some of these images. They pretty much speak for themselves...

Seriously? Those are tiny pieces of gold, stone, and other materials
placed perfectly together to make this beautiful mosaic. Simply unreal.

Mesmerizing Paintings in the Galleria Academia

Newly-made Murano glass horse!

The Main Archway of the Basilica di San Marco!

7. I started my Service Learning project!

My Community-Based Service Learning Agency!

As a part of my study abroad program, I am required to complete this thing called a Community Based Service-Learning (CBSL) project. This aspect is treated as both a class and an internship experience.  

The organization I am working for is the Centro Immigrazione Asilo Cooperazione (CIAC). In light of the devastating refugee crisis, CIAC serves as a first stop in helping refugees, immigrants and asylum-seekers integrate successfully in to Italian society. Its services include obtaining residency permits, family reunification, health system registration, legal consultancy, cultural mediation, translation, and help in finding shelter and jobs.

I've only met with CIAC twice since I started, so I'm not exactly sure what I will be doing with them, but overall I am excited for the experience!

8.  Shadowy monstah's vs. Shaka facts

Now I want you, my awesome readers, to know that my overall experience here in Italy has been PHENOMENAL thus far. I am in love with this country and I've been learning and experiencing so many awesome things. I am very grateful for this past month in Italia.

However, it's unrealistic for me to ignore some of the shadowy facts (or shadowy monstahs, as I call them) of what it's like to study and live in a foreign country...

• I am the furthest from home than I've ever been in my entire life (7,804 to be exact), and it's both exciting and scary for me to even be here because I am extremely connected to my home.
• Every day I am forced to speak a language that I don't know, and it can be frustrating at times.
• The struggle of working through cultural shock, habit adaptation, and societal integration is REAL.
• On top of all of that, I'm dealing with some intense emotional challenges in my personal life.

Despite their existence, these shadowy monstah's have actually taught me valuable lessons in how to respect, care, and love myself more effectively.

"Don't worry. Be happy" - Last night's dinner-quote from my Italian host parents.

To a certain degree, I feel like I am the kind of person who puts the needs and desires of others in front of my own. I do this especially with people that I love. Unfortunately, after a certain point, if I keep putting others before myself, I may become (in the wise words a loved one) "a reflection of myself." If there's ever a time when I need to focus on self-love, self-care, and self-respect, it should be now.

So here are what I call the "shaka" facts that counteract the shadowy monstah's.

• I am 20 years old, and I don't need to take everything so seriously all the time, especially while I'm abroad.
• Yes, I may be far away from home and I feel lonely sometimes, but I have ample opportunity to make friends and family here in Italy.
• It's not the first time I've had to learn a foreign language. I can do this!
• Emotions will run their course, and luckily I have the support of loved ones to help me work through them.

If you see da shadowy monstah's getting to u...

Throw da shakas at them and be happy instead! \m/ :P

Mahalo for reading! 

Live with Love,

Kepa \m/ 

LANGUAGE: The Search for Meaning

If you haven't already, check out my first post about Italy here before you continue reading!

*Let us begin!*

Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi?
Eh braddah, u talk Pidgin?
Puoi parlo Italiano?
Do you speak English?

*Can you describe the feeling you get from...
(1) The sound of droplets from a slippery waterfall?
(2) The sight of a snow-capped mountain range during sunrise, or
(3) Feasting your eyes on a Catholic church featuring artworks that are hundreds of years old? 

All these questions above technically ask for the same thing: an ANSWER! Because of this, their intentions are the same, their goals are the same, and they all ask for a specific piece of information. 

The only obvious difference...?

They are all written in different LANGUAGES: Hawaiian, Pidgin, Italian, English, and a fifth language that I call the unspoken language of REVERENCE.

I am extremely fortunate to have exposer in all of these languages. Since arriving in Italy, however, I've been forced to come to terms with the reality of being a multi-lingual individual, living in a multi-dimensional world. I figured in order for me to de-clutter the language mess that's in my head, I should talk about it on Kepa Aloha!

Io e le mie amiche a Parma, Italia!
Me and my friends (feminine plural) in Parma, Italy!

Now I must disclaim that my fluency in these languages vary slightly, and I have never studied linguistics formally, so I'm sure there are academic ways of expressing the topic of language. However, ʻaʻole wau ʻike i nā mea a pau (I do not see everything in existence), so the views and ideas reflected in this post are purely from my own personal experiences, observations, and reflections.

I will do my best to find the right words for the word that describes all words! (I know...that sounds really confusing, and this post may get a little messy...but stick with me, it'll be awesome!)

The pivotal moment of landing!

Why do I feel the need to address the topic of language after my first week in Italy? Because it's the very first barrier that anyone who studies abroad needs to overcome!

As a multi-lingual person, I have a unique challenge facing this barrier because of the additional neurological connections my brain contains that is responsible for learning languages. So in order for me to face that cultural barrier, I first need to take a solid look at all the languages floating around my brain.

Was one LUCKY BUGGAH fo get my own row on da plane ride!

I'll begin the topic of language with Pidgin! Otherwise known as Hawaiian Creole English, Pidgin evolved from Hawaiʻi's sugar plantations as a means for English speakers to communicate with non-English speakers - among whom were kanaka maoli as well as immigrant plantation workers (Chinese, Japanese, Filipinos, etc.). 

To me, Pidgin is the most popular language that people from outside of Hawaiʻi recognize as being truly unique to such a multi-racial, ethnic, and cultural place. Words such as "shoots," "howzit," and "da kine" are based on a history of people finding a way to communicate with one another, despite existing language barriers. Because of this, I speak Pidgin with most of my family and friends who live, or are from, Hawaiʻi. Pidgin, in a way, celebrates and recognizes the unique language diversity that still exists in my homeland.
(For more info on Pidgin, click here)

Statue in Piazza Giuseppe Garibaldi!

Next, there is English. To be completely honest, I have a very strange relationship with the English language.

It's the language I speak most often, but I personally view it as an elitist language. I make this claim for two obvious reasons: (1) English is spoken by some of the wealthiest nations on earth including Great Britain and the United States of America, and (2) the prevalence of English today is due to historical expansion of Western ideals upon cultures that were seen as "inferior" to English and American predecessors.

Among those cultures who were influenced by the English language was my own culture, Ka moʻomeheu Hawaiʻi.

He ʻohā pili wale...
I am still a young taro growing from an older corm 

Here's the deal: ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi is my mother tongue. This is the language of my ancestors, and if there were more people around me that I could kamaʻilio (converse) with on a daily basis, it would definitely be the language of my preference.

This is because I could use ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi to express my feelings, thoughts, and stories in a way that would be most authentic to my identity as a kanaka maoli - a native Hawaiian. Unfortunately, because of historical impacts of colonialism/Western influence - and my own life choices to go to college outside of Hawaiʻi - I have no other choice but to speak languages outside of my chief heritage.

Kuʻu kahua aloha - my loving foundation
I love my family!

It's unfortunate, but I have come to terms with this reality and it's actually equipped me with tools that I never thought would benefit me now that I am studying abroad. These tools address a popular myth that many people in Hawaiʻi believe. It has to do with the "usefulness" of learning the Hawaiian language.

Growing up surrounded by a majority of English-speaking individuals, some people would say, "Hawaiian is not a useful language, it will never help you in your future!" Now, I understand why that argument exists, but in my own experience it's completely false.

When it came time for me to learn Italiano, my knowledge of ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi gave me the tools necessary to learn much quicker than if I were to have grown up mono-lingual. Italian uses the same phonetics (speech sounds) in its vowel system that Hawaiian uses, making it easier for me to pronounce words. This system is actually used by many romance languages. If I didn't have a similar phonetic background in Hawaiian, I know my experience here in Italy would be completely different.

Ancient Roman aqueduct system!

Here's another thing: not being able to speak Hawaiian as often as I'd like felt extraordinarily isolating during my middle school/high school years.

I experienced the struggle of having to communicate and express myself in a language that I wasn't entirely comfortable speaking. Being okay with feeling both uncomfortable and isolated in a place that doesn't speak your primary language is something I've come across again being abroad. In many ways, I feel better prepared to face this language barrier this time around!

Da biggest city in the Emilia-Romagna region = Bologna! 

Finally, the fifth language that I mentioned is the unspoken language of Reverence. New Oxford American dictionary defines reverence as having a "deep respect for someone or something."

The three places pictured below inquire such a respect.

Remember those last three questions I stated above? These three photos give the only explanation that will ever be needed. The beauty of this unspoken language is that it is completely open to your own interpretation...

Waiheʻe = "Slippery Water"
*Taken during my last week at home before coming to Italy* 

The Pennine Alps...simply breathtaking

Cattedrale Metropolitana di San Pietro -
Bologna Cathedral

In closing...what is something we can all take from this random post about Language?
Well...according to the Encyclopedia of Language, the word "Language" is defined as: "a system of signs, i.e. of institutionalized sensory patterns that ‘stand for’ something beyond themselves, so that they ‘mean’ something."

I love this definition because it shows us what we can do to appreciate language more. When we stop to really think about it, our ability to speak any language is often a tool we take for granted. 

I mean...REALLY think about it! We are born, we learn how to pronounce specific sounds, we match those sounds to specific characters/words/diacritical marks and-BAM! you start understanding this thing called a "language" without ever giving it a second thought as to how incredible the process of gaining such an ability truly is!!

It also unveils the entire reason we use language in the first place: to search for MEANING beyond ourselves. 

At the very core of a language is this idea of bringing meaning into life.
And I think MEANING is a language worth understanding...

Perhaps we should stop asking for definitions and start asking for meanings.

Mahalo, Thank you, Tanks ah, & Grazie for all your support!

Thank you so much for stopping by Kepa Aloha once again! 
Ci vediamo, A hui hou, Until Next time, and SHOOTS!

Live with love,

Kepa \m/\m/

P.S., Please check out my awesome sister's blog Happy Nathaniel and my cousin's NEW blog Hawaii Girl Meets World! THEY ARE BOTH SUPER AWESOME AND YOU'LL LOVE THEIR WRITING!

Kaʻapuni Honua Series: My Journey to Italia

Ciao, Aloha, and Hello everyone! This is my third post on Kepa Aloha: a blog that I, Kepa Barrett, started for the purpose of reflecting properly on the experiences, travels, and "mana moments" of my life. This is also the second post in my Kaʻapuni Honua (World Traveling) Series. If you'd like to see my first Kaʻapuni Honua post about my summer in Chicago, feel free to click here.

Now...ON TO ITALY!!

To start off my very FIRST post about Italia, I should explain how I chose to study abroad here in the first place. When I began college, it was never my intention to study abroad in Europe. In fact - last year when the opportunity arose to apply for programs abroad - I initially filled out an application to study abroad in Costa Rica! Can you believe that? So how did Italy come into the picture?

Here's what happened...I had a dream about a yellow building.

Yup! That's right! Just when I was about to turn in my application for Costa Rica I decided to take a nap one afternoon. I had a moe ʻuhane (dream) that I was standing in a large plaza, looking at a yellow building with a clock tower in the middle of it. In the dream, I looked down at myself and saw that I was wearing more layers of clothing than I'd EVER worn in my entire life. The plaza itself was filled with people speaking a language that I couldn't understand, when suddenly - without any sense of orientation - I heard a deep, resounding voice in the back of my head whisper into my subconscious, telling me these words:

"Kepa...Go.. To. Italy."

Then I woke up.
...

Seems pretty far-fetched doesn't it? Well, trust me, I freaked the f*K out! I ran downstairs to the Study Abroad office, walked right into my advisers room and told her about the dream. As soon as she heard me describe the building, she stopped me and said that the college, indeed, has a program in Italy in a town named Parma that contains a building JUST like the one I described in my dream.

You see that yellow building pictured below? It's located in Piazza Garibaldi, and it's the spitting image of the building I had in my dream. I took this picture myself yesterday afternoon.

Piazza Giuseppe Garibaldi in Parma, Italy

Naturally, I was in a state of shock in response to this information. So many questions sprung into my mind... 

"Why did I have that dream? 
Where did that voice come from? 
What is the significance of that yellow building?
And if I were to go to Italy, what would happen to me?"

I let these questions sink in...and the only answer I could come up with that made sense was:

"I don't know where to find any of these answers, guess I'll have to go looking for them." 

So I threw away my Costa Rica application, filled out an entirely new application for Parma, Italy, and turned it into the Study Abroad office within 48 hours of having the dream.

Pretty dramatic, yeah? Welcome to my life.
Perhaps it was my curiosity that drove me to apply or it may have been an omniscient force that guided me down this path. Whatever it was...the fact that I am here now in Italy is truly based on a leap of faith.

So there you have it!

Weird Dream + Yellow Building + Optimus prime voice + A leap of faith == 
My Journey to Italia!

Please tune in next time for an update on my experience in Italy so far! I am going on my fourth day here and I am loving it so far! Mahalo, Thank you, and Grazie for reading! Until next time. Live with love!

Kepa \m/\m/

Nom nom nom nom!