HAPPINESS & LONELINESS: A Choice between two States of Being

Ciao a tutti,

Mahalo for coming back to check out Kepa Aloha! I am extremely grateful for all your support!

If you didn't get a chance to read my last post about the 8 things I experienced in my first month in Italy, go check um out here!

I have no recent updates about my life in Italy at the moment. The only thing that's really preoccupying my mind is an inner conflict. The components? HAPPINESS and LONELINESS.

Now before I go on, you all should know that I am not the kind of person who will use any form of social media, including this blog, to air-out my dirty emotional laundry for the whole world to see. That ain't cute.

However, I do hope that what I have to share with you today - my awesome family, friends, and teachers - is worth your time and attention. This blog explores the choice we have between two states of being. 

Happiness vs. Loneliness. Which one will YOU choose?

No one said this journey would be easy...

Study on Happiness

The other day I found this TED talk by Robert Waldinger entitled, What Makes A Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness. It shows the results of a 75-year-old study about what it takes to live a long, healthy, and happy life. Apparently it all comes down to just one, simple thing. 

Watch the video to find out before reading on!

...

So there you have it. Happiness is directly related to GOOD RELATIONSHIPS.

Grateful to have a good relationsihp wit my craazzy family <3

The Reality of Loneliness in my Post-high school Life

As the video stated, LONELINESS is the antithesis of your Happiness, and yes, it is not always easy to combat. It's even harder if you're like me and you haven't been able to breath in one place for more than a few months since you graduated high school.

• 2.5 - years since I graduated from high school 
• 12 - flights taken between Calfornia & Hawaiʻi
• 4 - flights taken between Chicago & Honolulu
• 1 - flight from Hawaiʻi to Italy
• Time spent in Hawaiʻi: approx. 8 months
• Time spent in California: approx. 20 months
• Time spent in Chicago: 2 months
• Scheduled stay in Italy: 4 months

Now don't get me wrong, I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful, blessed, and excited to have traveled to so many places in such a short period of time. But the reality of the matter is that I sometimes feel disoriented. Unlike many people, I didn't grow up traveling to different places for long time periods. Travel is a very recent endeavor that I chose to pursue after high school for my own personal growth.

I grew up as an ʻohā pili wale - a young taro plant that attached itself to an older corm, and her name was HAWAIʻI. There is no doubt in my mind that my heart, my home, and where I see myself growing old will always be Hawaiʻi.

However, when you mix homesickness with isolation, you often get their offspring = loneliness. And unfortunately study abroad has this mixture.

Mahalo au iā Hawaiʻi no kuʻu ola hauʻoli

On the other hand, I know it's totally possible to be alone while studying abroad and not actually feel lonely, but when it comes to being physically, culturally, and linguistically isolated, all while being in a foreign country- those bouts of loneliness tend to creep up on you without fair warning. I am not ashamed to admit that I feel lonely sometimes. It's completely normal.

Just take a deep breath...everything will be okay

There is both a Happy Ending and a Happy NOW

With all that said, lately I've been making an effort to lean more into the good relationships I have in real life. I'm keeping up with my studies, but I've also been spending time with the people on my program, exploring new things every day, watching movies with my host family, and I've been spending quality time with my new italian friends.

I have faith that there will be a happy ending to all these lonely emotions, but what I need to work on is taking advantage of happiness in the PRESENT. In spite of all the challenges right now.

I want to leave you all with a series of photos of SOME of the relationships that I cherish...primarily my family. These show not only the people I love and adore, but apparently they help me live longer!

Kuʻu Kupuna - I miei Nonni - My Grandparents

Kuʻu mākua - I miei genitori - My Parents

Kuʻu mau kaikuahine - Le mie sorelle - My sisters

Kuʻu keiki hanauna - Il mio nipote - My nephew!

KUʻU IPO! - DA LOVAH

Live with Love,

Kepa <3


P.S. Happy Birthday shoutout to my Aunty Kuuipo! Love and miss you Aunty!!

8 things I experienced in my first month in Italy

I know...I can't believe it either.

It's been an entire MONTH since I first arrived in Italia!

Dove ha fatto il tempo?? Where did the time go?? 

This blog post is dedicated to eight of the most significant things I experienced in my first month of my study abroad.

Andiamo! Let's Go!

1. I fell in love with my host family!

"MAKE FAMILY," says my amazing older sister, Pili.

And I have indeed made a family here in Italia.

It's not the quantity that matters...it is truly the quality, and I feel extremely blessed with the quality of the two members in my Italian host family (la mia famiglia ospitante di italiana)! A month ago, when I first arrived at the Parma train station, my host mom Manuela greeted me straight off the platform and brought me downstairs where my host dad Nicola was waiting in the car to drive me to my new Italian home. They live in a quaint apartment close to Parma's city center. 

Nicola is an accountant from Toscana and Manuela is both a book illustrator and a psychologist for children. Even though it's just the two of them, at this very moment that I am typing, I can hear them cheerfully joking with one another with their laughter filling the whole apartment. Their presence, positivity, and happiness are more than enough to make me feel comfortable and safe in this foreign country. 

Altogether, there's only three of us, but we make a pretty awesome trio. 

Me and my host parents!

Also, Nicola and Manuela have successfully hosted several study abroad students in the past, but they told me I'm their favorite, of course. (Sorry Enrique :P)

2. It's been confirmed: Food is no joke in Italy.

As soon as I arrived in her home, the first question my host mom asked me was if I wanted to eat something. After 26 hours of traveling from Honolulu to Parma, I of course said yes! The first meal I ate? PASTA! With sautéed kale and grated parmesan cheese! It was a very appropriate cheese for the city of Parmesans.

Maneula's homemade pasta, Semifreddo desert,
Antipasto (seafood platter), & Tortino di zucca (pumpkin dish)

When it comes to food, Italians knows how to eat. Italy is proud of its food culture, and rightfully so. I find that the value placed on mealtimes, the presentation of the dishes, and the overall quality of Italian food is much higher than that of the United States.

For the most part, I eat all of my meals at home with my host family. We normally share every meal together because meals are not only seen as important aspects in the Italian culture, but it's also essential for my education abroad. Sometimes I feel like I'm learning more Italian language by sitting at the table eating with my host family than I am sitting in the classroom!

3. I watched a real Opera performance!

Unfortunately the photos and videos that I took in the opera house mysteriously disappeared (probably because I shouldn't have been taking them in the first place, whoops)! I have no idea what happened to them, but here's a picture of the exquisite interior of the building located right in the middle of Parma!

Teatro Regio di Parma

4. I took an Italian language exam in a barbershop...

And I passed! After four weeks of being in Italy, it was not only time for me to get a new haircut, but it was also time for me to test my language skills. After showing the barbiere (barber) some photos and using some basic phrases in the Italian language here are the results:

Before → After

Not gonna lie, I was pretty proud of myself. And I feel much more confident in both my hair and my language capabilities! (Speaking of language, if you haven't read it, I wrote an entire blog about the topic of language here!)

5. Venezia happened...

Yes, I went to Venezia last weekend.

No, I WASN'T READY FOR IT!!

Now, I've been to some pretty famous cities before: Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Chicago, New York, and of course Honolulu.

But the truth of the matter is that growing up I never would've imagined that one day I would travel to Venice. It's a city built upon over 100 different islands, and there is no other city that comes close to its history, architecture, and reputation.

My very first sight of Venice straight off da train!

We traveled through Venezia's narrow alleys

...and sailed through its wide canals!

Me and my awesome study group with 
the historical Palazzo Ducale in the backdrop

I admired the Basilica di San Marco!

I could go on for days talking about how wonderful and awesome Venice was. But since I wasn't even ready for it, I think I need to give myself more time to reflect on it. I also have faith that it won't be the last time I visit this city...

I was wrong. Hawai'i isn't the only place that doesn't require a photo filter.

6. Italian Art ain't nothin' to mess with.

Although I haven't pursued traditional artistic techniques like painting, drawing, or material modeling, I can feel myself gaining a growing appreciation for art in all its forms. Feast your eyes on some of these images. They pretty much speak for themselves...

Seriously? Those are tiny pieces of gold, stone, and other materials
placed perfectly together to make this beautiful mosaic. Simply unreal.

Mesmerizing Paintings in the Galleria Academia

Newly-made Murano glass horse!

The Main Archway of the Basilica di San Marco!

7. I started my Service Learning project!

My Community-Based Service Learning Agency!

As a part of my study abroad program, I am required to complete this thing called a Community Based Service-Learning (CBSL) project. This aspect is treated as both a class and an internship experience.  

The organization I am working for is the Centro Immigrazione Asilo Cooperazione (CIAC). In light of the devastating refugee crisis, CIAC serves as a first stop in helping refugees, immigrants and asylum-seekers integrate successfully in to Italian society. Its services include obtaining residency permits, family reunification, health system registration, legal consultancy, cultural mediation, translation, and help in finding shelter and jobs.

I've only met with CIAC twice since I started, so I'm not exactly sure what I will be doing with them, but overall I am excited for the experience!

8.  Shadowy monstah's vs. Shaka facts

Now I want you, my awesome readers, to know that my overall experience here in Italy has been PHENOMENAL thus far. I am in love with this country and I've been learning and experiencing so many awesome things. I am very grateful for this past month in Italia.

However, it's unrealistic for me to ignore some of the shadowy facts (or shadowy monstahs, as I call them) of what it's like to study and live in a foreign country...

• I am the furthest from home than I've ever been in my entire life (7,804 to be exact), and it's both exciting and scary for me to even be here because I am extremely connected to my home.
• Every day I am forced to speak a language that I don't know, and it can be frustrating at times.
• The struggle of working through cultural shock, habit adaptation, and societal integration is REAL.
• On top of all of that, I'm dealing with some intense emotional challenges in my personal life.

Despite their existence, these shadowy monstah's have actually taught me valuable lessons in how to respect, care, and love myself more effectively.

"Don't worry. Be happy" - Last night's dinner-quote from my Italian host parents.

To a certain degree, I feel like I am the kind of person who puts the needs and desires of others in front of my own. I do this especially with people that I love. Unfortunately, after a certain point, if I keep putting others before myself, I may become (in the wise words a loved one) "a reflection of myself." If there's ever a time when I need to focus on self-love, self-care, and self-respect, it should be now.

So here are what I call the "shaka" facts that counteract the shadowy monstah's.

• I am 20 years old, and I don't need to take everything so seriously all the time, especially while I'm abroad.
• Yes, I may be far away from home and I feel lonely sometimes, but I have ample opportunity to make friends and family here in Italy.
• It's not the first time I've had to learn a foreign language. I can do this!
• Emotions will run their course, and luckily I have the support of loved ones to help me work through them.

If you see da shadowy monstah's getting to u...

Throw da shakas at them and be happy instead! \m/ :P

Mahalo for reading! 

Live with Love,

Kepa \m/